Name In The Paper

Term limits have yet to be set, as this week Tom and Mike discuss getting their name in the paper by talking about the theoretical crimes they want to commit. Also discussed is Mike's truly disproportionate responses to perceived slights against him and how he would screw with John Hinkley Jr.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

 

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-164.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:56am EST

Term Limits

We debut Mike's new insult, and we also talk about Tom's insatiable need to combine two words into one, usually leading to the dumbest possible concoction. We also really dig into the difference between honesty and just being mean, and talk about the satisfaction gained from each one. We also talk about how it should be way harder to lose big objects, like airplanes and trains. 

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-163.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:25am EST

Centaurs Are People Too!

Special Guest: Tom

We hate when death robs us of comedy. We don't mean the death of comedians, but rather when people die in normal ways. That's why Mike has drafted his post-mortem bucket list, so if he goes in a lame why, he can be redeemed. We also talk about raising our centaur children as race horses!

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-162.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:26am EST

Family Still Matters

Special Guest: Tom Reed

This episode is just filthy, straight up filthy. We spend the better part of the podcast talking about crapping at the white house and the rest of the time talking about messed up reboots of shows from the 80's and 90's. So, join us, and get ready for the filth train.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-161.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:16am EST

Tom Secedes!

Special Guest: Tom

This week I attempt to talk Tom into some true nonsense. I start with asking him to don a suit of armor so I can throw lawn darts at him, and somehow it gets to me trying to talk him into seceding from the Union, and starting a nation based on lawn dart economics.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-160.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:38am EST

Mike's True Stories Of Burro Racing

Mike and Sully talk about exactly how much the world would suck if it reflected the popular Stallone movie, 'Demolition Man.' We also talk Mike's real life experiences with burro racing, glory holes and why he can't understand why it is called the clap.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-159.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:28am EST

Combination Gun Range-Strip Club- Daycare Center

Mike and Sully talk in depth about Mike's worst business idea ever, (See title), as well as why they would make terrible Supreme Court Justices. They also talk about unlikely candidates that might just make amazing justices and how to stump a minotaur.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-158.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:09am EST

Mike Has A Cinder Block Head!

We talk about it all, from measuring in kadams, Kaiju fights and the inevitability of VS. movies. We get absurd with our picks, bringing in both the Puppet Master franchise as well as Trilogy Of Terror. We also talk about how no matter what your problem is, Blazing Sword can fix it, except for Brendan Fraser.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-157.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:09am EST

A Diet Of Sadness!

Guest Host: Tom Reed

This time around, we return to our roots, by crapping hardcore on Florida. We talk Florida news stories involving thrown alligators, escaping monkeys and Casey Anthony. We also talk about building our own awesome zoo, and following the cardinal rule of zookeepers: don't let the animals out!

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-156.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:20am EST

There Is Nothing Cooler Than Teen Pregnancy!

Guest: Tom Reed

This time, it gets a little dark as we talk about how all the cool kids in high school used to get each other pregnant, football and how very special episodes of TV kept us from huffing paint. The following two decrees are also made; The first being that Madonna needs to stop acting "cool," as it is embarrassing. The second is that former great directors really need to go back to the well to appease us.

Never Accurate, Always Presumptuous!

EXPLICIT CONTENT! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Direct download: Readings4Suckers-155.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:35am EST